Why Lie to The Children?

Truth and falsehood are intertwined in our lives. Typically, we adults are well aware, what distorts or ignores the true state of affairs. And children? What motivates them to invent naive incredible stories, to expose that sometimes there is no difficulty?

Kids do not lie. Until about the age of four, they generally do not distinguish between the concepts of "lies" and "truth" any allegation accept at face value, do and say whatever they want. To achieve their goals, they just express their desires and emotions - crying, or arrange hysterical scandals, if parents ignore their requests.

Since the beginning of the formation of creative thinking the picture changes. Begins a period of "white lies. At this stage, the distortion of the truth - is quite a natural phenomenon. Children fantasize and tell different stories, confused and unable to separate truth from fiction, wishful thinking. No need to punish a child for the imagination. On the contrary, it should be encouraged and given every opportunity to develop creative thinking.

Deliberate lie is about the age of ten, with the advent of the capacity for reflection. But the period of childhood fantasies can and delayed if the child has a need for this. Virtuoso lied, he drew attention to themselves to look better and gain prestige among peers.

Sometimes, the child is so fond of telling lies that almost does not tell the truth. Live in the fictional world it is easier than real. The reason is that these children lack the understanding and sympathy, peers do not take them into their circle.

Aggressive children tend to lie less than obedient good girl. Manifestation of aggression - direct (fight) or verbal (swearing) - allows the one hand, let off steam, on the other - raise the credibility of the aggressor in tineydzherskoy environment.

Girls are more peaceful than boys, more emotional, irrational and resentful. Therefore, saving for the image lies found in their environment much more often.

Awareness of lies as such, what is bad, usually causes the child-specific external reaction, allowing easy to understand that the child is cheating. For example, involuntary attempt to cover her mouth, the excitement and glow on the cheeks, frequent blinking, a reluctance to look into the eyes, or, conversely, defiant "honest" opinion. The child feels guilty, afraid of being exposed. To lie sounded convincing, he begins to look up words, pronounce them hesitantly, with unusual intonation. Who knows, "Son," a better parent? Pay attention to the nuances of speech, behavior, and everything will fall into place.

Psychologists do not recommend punishing the little liar. Analyze the motivation lies. Can you blame yourself? Maybe your requirements are excessive, and lies - an attempt to facilitate children's natural life?

Give your child understand that a lie is not necessary that you love him, accept and support in any situation. If so, and scolding, do not baby, and his actions. And do not forget to praise for the sincerity. For the fact that even in difficult situations a son or daughter found the strength to all fairly and without reserve to tell her parents.

When and Why to Say "NO"?

If we want to open yourself up again and live this life, we must find the courage to say no to those things which do not serve us - Barbara De Angelis.

Sometimes there are situations when you do not say "no" is simply impossible. For example, a colleague wants to "ask you a favor, and you and themselves worries mouthful, let alone other people's problems to you! But for some reason we are sometimes willing to sacrifice themselves in order to please others, and so at the request of doom say: "Yes" - mentally already wondering what we have to sacrifice.

Unwillingness to give the failure may be caused by many reasons. Fear of being branded vredinoy, fear to offend people, lose his confidence, etc. Often encountered people who, in addition to their own duties still a bunch of strangers, instead of getting only frustration and discontent itself.

Where did this strange desire to please everyone? A person's character is laid in childhood. We are soft, like clay, and absorb other people's words and behavior, like a sponge, so one of us can create any sort of personality. Unfortunately, some parents confuse well-mannered child and trained dogs. Often, aid - the only thing children receive encouragement. Unfortunately, children still difficult to understand the difference between the desire to serve and help. As an adult, a person instinctively waiting for their service award as a child, but, of course, does not get it.

Is this desire? No one says that the same assistance to parents - it's bad, and the child must do everything in spite of their parents, to any sensible request for responding to a sharp "no". However, an important role here is motivation. Not "a good boy, brought the" five ", pleased parents", and "how well you like to learn how much you know and you know how!". In general, "forget about yourself, do to others" - the theory is not true, unless you're a masochist.

How many times have you helped your colleagues, friends, relatives who artlessly dump on you all their problems, and how many times you were actually rewarded for it? Unfortunately, wait, that one fine morning you wake up and you will fall thanks and benefits provided to you once the service is not necessary. And then who will think of yourself?

A situation where I must say "no." Usually the man himself recognizes this situation. Are you familiar with anticipation when you hear the telephone voice of friend that you now again, something will be asked? And you even know where you have such a belief: there was not one time that she did not ask about the next service.

It is worth considering: Are there really is good for you dating? Are you getting some benefit from communicating with this person? And if you ask the same thing that will tell you?

You've probably heard something like: "Ivanov - vredina. About anything ask the impossible! And earns a best! "? Or maybe not so bad? And that Ivanov - not a bad person, he simply knows his worth and can not ride on his colleagues and boss - free to exploit their labor?

Around a lot of successful people envious, but these people secretly admire and want to be like them, here are taken from this and similar slander. To tell you the truth, such talk is still very few people from the harms discussed.

Perhaps, you have to start saying "no" when you really want to refuse? You will have more free time, there will be a sense of confidence in myself: I'm doing as I want!